Some of you may have seen these before, but I enjoyed them, so I am letting you enjoy them again also.
“British Airways flight asks for push back clearance from terminal.”
Control Tower replies: “And where is the world’s most experienced airline going today without filing a flight plan?”
ATC: “Al Italia 345 continue taxi to 26L South via Tango — check for workers along taxiway.”
Al Italia 345: “Roger, Taxi 26 Left A via Tango. Workers checked — all are working”
Nova 851: “Halifax Terminal, Nova 851 with you out of 13,000 for 10,000, requesting runway 15.”
Halifax Terminal (female): “Nova 851, Halifax, the last time I gave a pilot what he wanted I was on penicillin for three weeks. Expect runway 06.”
ATC: “Cessna 123, what are your intentions? “
Cessna: “To get my Commercial Pilots License and Instrument Rating.”
ATC: “I meant in the next five minutes not years.”
Cessna 152: “Flight Level Three Thousand, Seven Hundred”
Controller: “Roger, contact Houston Space Center”
Student Pilot: “I’m lost; I’m over a big lake and heading toward the big “E.”
Controller: “Make several 90 degree turns so I can identify you on radar.”
(Short pause)…
Controller: “Okay then. That big lake is the Atlantic Ocean. Suggest you turn to the big “W” immediately.”
Tower: “American…and for your information, you were slightly to the left of the centerline on that approach.”
American: “That’s correct; and my First Officer was slightly to the right”
Controller: “FAR1234 confirm your type of aircraft. Are you an Airbus 330 or 340?”
Pilot: “A340 of course!”
Controller: “Then would you mind switching on the two other engines and give me 1000 feet per minute, please?”
Tower: “Cessna 123, turn right now and report your heading.”
Pilot: “Wilco. 341, 342, 343, 344, 345…”
Foreign Pilot Trainee: “Tower, please speak slowly, I am a baby in English and lonely in the cockpit”
Controller: “CRX600, are you on course to SUL?”
Pilot: “More or less.”
Controller: “So proceed a little bit more to SUL.”
